Thursday, January 31, 2008

Awkward First-Date Moments

Subtle Butt

So your date suggests Indian or Chinese or Ethiopian or Mexican for dinner. So what? Worrying about gas is a thing of the past with The Pond, Inc.'s Subtle Butt smell filters (nicely priced at $9.95 for a five-pack). Just stick one of them inside your underwear, and voila: Now your only worry is to make sure you keep it quiet. You dirty, dirty girl.

[Originally posted at]

Parents Just Don't Understand

school busIn the latest files of WTF?, two Columbia, S.C., teenagers were expelled for making out on a school bus, the Associated Press reported.

Dominique Goyner and his ladyfriend got it on for an estimated two minutes, according to Dominique's mother, Jody Free. She said the kissing hardly qualifies as “sexual misconduct.” Dominique planned to attend a military academy after graduation.

The families of both teens are fighting the decision (thank goodness!). The statement from Theresa Riley, spokeswoman for the school district:

“The district does not discuss disciplinary action taken against individual students because of the confidentiality rights of students. Generally speaking, incidents of this nature are investigated by the appropriate school administrators, and students are disciplined according to board policy JICDA Code of Conduct. Rules of student conduct and consequences for violations are necessary for the orderly operation of the district’s schools and buses. The district stands firmly by any decisions made by the district administration and school board in student discipline matters.”

Blah blah blah, why are some people so square?

[Originally posted at]

Fresh Meat: Yu Zhenhuan

Hairiest ManNext time you're scoping prospects in online dating communities, keep your eyes peeled for China's Yu Zhenuan, who is hell-bent set on finding a new ladyfriend after his recent breakup with some chick he was with for three years, who he also met online.

Zhenhuan, 29, earned the prestigious superlative of world's hairiest man by the Guinness Book of Records back in '02.

"My whole body is covered with hair,” he told the Daily Telegraph, “and my parents are worried I won't be able to find a wife. Many girls are shocked when they see me in person.

"I feel like King Kong, hideous, but with a soft and tender heart."

Come on, Playgirls; where's the love?

[Originally posted at]

Wednesday, January 30, 2008


This story has all the fixings of a delicious scandal: A former supervisor at a youth detention facility slept with a 17-year-old boy she was responsible for supervising—then continued the affair after he escaped, the Associated Press reported.

Beccy Hasselbarth, 36, of Murrieta, Calif., was sentenced to a year in jail after pleading guilty to several felony sex charges; plus three years' probation. Hasselbarth also has to register as a sex offender. Bet she's wishing she'd had an affair with a 17-year-old in a state where that's actually legal. She was found out when the guy was arrested yet again and told a social worker in Los Angeles of his relationship with Hasselbarth.

The affair, which prosecutors said lasted from February 2005 through October of the same year, was with a young man held as an inmate at Los Pinos Youth Facility in Orange County. His charges? Robbery, grand theft, domestic violence and vandalism. Hasselbarth, hopeless romantic she is, allegedly gave the troubled teen cash after his escape from the youth facility in November 2005.

Some chicks just can't resist “bad boys.”

[Originally posted at]

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The Latest in Douchebaggery: Daniel Dean Thompson

Back story: In response to conservative cries of inappropriate/pornographic content in movies, companies creating “clean” versions of movies provide folks with boring—I mean, more tasteful—versions of our favorite flicks; allowing “concerned moms and dads to take one more lazy step back from the parenting process.” This supposedly injects American culture with a little more decency.

Which brings us to the latest in douchebaggery, Daniel Dean Thompson. He's the owner of Flix Club, a company in Utah selling clean versions of movies to people. He's also the guy arrested last week for sexually abusing children. Can you say, irony?

Yeah, total bummer. Thompson, 31, and Issac Lifferth, 24, allegedly traded sex with a couple 14-year-old girls, who claimed to need money so they could move out of their homes. Thompson and Lifferth were booked at the Utah County jail on charges of sexual abuse and unlawful sexual activity.

Dirty dudes operating under the guise of decency for the sake of a more wholesome America are the worst.

[Originally posted at]


mooning gnomeThe Buttcheek Bandit is on the loose in Valentine, Neb., and authorities need your help.

Hell of a way to start, I know.

This creepster has been dashing around town since November, nude and covered in Vaseline, pressing himself against windows and doors of storefronts, churches and schools. There's worry some of the work is being done by a Buttcheek Bandit copycat.

"Who in their right mind would do something like that?" asked Valentine police chief Ben McBride. We can't imagine, sir. We can't imagine.

Although we'd love to get him for Playgirl's Real Man section when you find him. Pretty please?

[Originally posted at]

Newest Outlet for Your Skills

stripper poleHave all those pole-dancing classes got you feeling like a million bucks? A new Web site,, invites stripping extraordinaires to strut their stuff for an Internet-based audience who will shamelessly judge performances.

At YouStrip, broads of every stripe and all over the world disrobe so you can rate them on their skills. Kind of a HotorNot for the especially lecherous.

The site claims to be harkening back to ancient Sumer or Babylon, and providing women with a forum in which to be confident and in control of their sexiness; but I sense a much stronger "Bada-Bing" type vibe than I do a "Dance of the Seven Veils."

[Originally posted at]

VICTORY: Sex Workers' Art Show Approved at Virginia College

sex workerStudents got approval yesterday to hold a controversial event called the Sex Workers' Art Show on the campus of the College of William and Mary in Williamsburg, Virg. The show is in the midst of a national tour.

The school's president, Gene Nichol, tried convincing students to have the event off-campus. When one couldn't be found (a Unitarian Universalist church considered it, but was prohibited by County law which prevented the church from housing an event featuring public nudity), Nichol cited the First Amendment and gave the show the go-ahead.

The Sex Workers' Art Show is scheduled Feb. 4 and features “performances and monologues by strippers, prostitutes and other sex workers, with its goal being to 'dispel the myth that (the performers) are anything short of artists, innovators, and geniuses.'" Hott. Get your tickets now, people.

[Originally posted at]

Monday, January 28, 2008

Freak of the Week: Brazilian model Angela Bismarchi

brazilianThe insanity continues!

The newest development in all things "beautiful" are the nylon wires you can now have implanted around your eyeballs to give you an Asian "look."

Brazilian model Angela Bismarchi is undergoing the procedure as a way to celebrate 100 years of Japanese immigration to Brazil (she's leading her samba group in a contest at Rio Carnival in February). Makes perfect sense, no? But for Bismarchi, this ain't no thang: She's already had 41 plastic surgeries. Current record-holder for such slice-and-dice activity is Cindy Jackson, considered a "pioneer" of plastic surgery.

The samba group involves about 300 drummers and, of course, one dancing and oddly resculpted 36-year-old model. "I always was vain," Bismarchi told "And for carnival, you have to feel especially pretty."

Other notables involving this lady:

*Ten of her surgeries were performed by Bismarchi's husband, a plastic surgeon (two of her husbands have been plastic surgeons)

* Bismarchi has made headlines for her partly-nude parading; first in 2000, when she walked the streets with Brazil's flag painted on her bod; and in 2002 when she did the same with President Lula da Silva's face painted on her.

[Originally posted at]

Random Awesomeness: Jesus light switch

Jesus SwitchNot sure who in his or her right mind designs something like this by accident. Kind of a piss-poor product design, no? Not the kind of thing you'd expect to find in a church gift shop.

Unless of course the unintentional pornographic aspect of this is, in fact, intentional... In which case, it's extra inappropriate.

But still. Take note of the "Honor thy father and mother" line just above Jesus' "switch" and try not to cringe. And what are those kids looking at?

Even us Playgirls have decency standards.

Sort of.

[Originally posted at]

Friday, January 25, 2008

True Romance: Suicidal old folks don mutual plastic bags, now together forever

true romance

An old English couple facilitated a mutual suicide by downing whiskey, rubber-banding plastic bands around each others' heads, lying down on their bed with music playing, and dying together for fear of ever being apart, the Daily Mail reported.

The pair, Hilda Bedell, 76, and husband James, was together more than 60 years. The newspaper suggested inspiration came from Derek Humphry's book, Final Exit.

James, a retired veteran and milkman, was on meds for anxiety and a tremor. Hilda was hopped up on morphine for arthritis and osteoporosis. Family members told the Daily Mail James and Hilda were open about their desire to “end it together.”

[Originally posted at]

A Mayoral Lesson in Dirty Talk

detroit mayorHot-ass text messages found in Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick's cell phone refute testimony he made under oath denying an affair with his top aide, the Associated Press reported.

If convicted for lying under oath, Kilpatrick could face up to 15 years in prison.

Kilpatrick (who was, by the way, married at the time) and his top aide, Christine Beatty, testified last summer in a police whistle-blower lawsuit (two officers were awarded $6.5 million in that case for unlawful firing-the lawsuit was against the city and Kilpatrick), denying they had a romantic relationship. The Free Press pored over about 14,000 text messages, however, and a different story became unearthed. A brief sampling (pay attention, Romeos):

"I'm madly in love with you," Kilpatrick wrote on Oct. 3, 2002.

"I hope you feel that way for a long time," Beatty replied. "In case you haven't noticed, I am madly in love with you, too!"

Kilpatrick: "I've been dreaming all day about having you all to myself for 3 days. Relaxing, laughing, talking, sleeping and making love."

Then consider a quote from his testimony: "I think it was pretty demoralizing to her—you have to know her—but it's demoralizing to me as well," the mayor said. "My mother is a congresswoman. There have always been strong women around me. My aunt is a state legislator. I think it's absurd to assert that every woman that works with a man is a whore." Rrrrriiiiight.

Kilpatrick's excuse for this strange flip-flopping? In a statement made Wednesday, the Mayor said the messages "reflect a very difficult period in my personal life."

[Originally posted at]

DIY Porn Ring

If only high school was this exciting 10 years ago. *sigh*

Allentown, Penn., police on Thursday struggled to reel in an amateur porn flick and nudey stills of two high-schoolers being passed like hotcakes via cell phones throughout the school and public, the Orlando Sentinel reported.

More than 40 Parkland High School students were thought to have receive images on their phones (according to grown-ups, that is; students' estimates were much higher—go figure); District Attorney James B. Martin said prosecution against those students would be waved—on the condition the kiddies showed cops all cell phone files.

Those who won't grant police cell-phone access are being threatened with prosecution for possession of child pornography.

The gist of the porn is pretty straightforward—one of the girls is showing an as-of-yet unidentified boy a very good time, while a photo shows the other young lady's tatas. But trying to reign these images and video in will be tough: Apparently, they were leaked about two months ago. So it goes.

[Originally posted at]

Eat Your Birth Control

birth controlNewest excuse for teenagers to get on the Pill without overtly admitting to grown-ups you're putting out: The pill prevents ovarian cancer!

British researchers found birth control pills can prevent ovarian cancer for around 30 years after a woman stops taking the Pill. The researchers estimated 100,000 ovarian cancer deaths have been prevented internationally, reported.

“The longer you took it [the Pill], the better off you are when the risk of ovarian cancer is high,” says Valerie Beral of the University of Oxford. Ovarian cancer is most common after the age of 50. Women on the pill for 15 years cut their risk of ovarian cancer in half.

More than 100 million women are on the Pill.

[Originally posted at]

'Crazy Bitch' Files

beauty queenJust in time for this weekend's Miss America pageant comes the story of a former beauty queen who tortured and kidnapped her ex-boyfriend.

Tucson, Ariz., police released recordings of 911 calls placed in December of last year, during which male screams of “help” and “no, no”—as well as a gunshot—are audible. Deductions suggest the voice is that of the 24-year-old hostage, who sustained bite marks, and swelling on his hands and wrists (which he attributed to being tied up).

Kamari Fulbright, a former Miss Pima County, was indicted Dec. 18 on felony charges of the following: armed robbery, aggravated robbery, kidnapping and two counts of aggravated assault. You'd think the 25-year-old, who is a law student at the University of Arizona, might have realized the world of shit she was getting herself into.

Not so pretty now, huh.

[Originally posted at]

Thursday, January 24, 2008

The Latest Affront to Gender Equality

Chores Fort Worth, Texas—The Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary features "homemaking curriculum" which features important lessons (taught exclusively to women at the school) such as "how to set tables, sew buttons and sustain lively dinnertime conversation." This course can earn women credit toward an eventual bachelor's degree.

Industrious young ladies can also learn how to find grocery-store coupons on the Internet and practice their vaccuuming. In a world where women and men are equal, reps from the school said told the L.A. Times, it's important to remember that different genders do have different roles. Now, excuse me while I barf a little bit.

[Originally posted at]

Hooking: Just like any other business!

prostituteSteven Levitt, an economics professor at the University of Chicago and co-author of Freakonomics, recently presented results from a study exploring the economics of street prostitution, the Economist reported.

The findings, gleaned by collecting information from arrest records and 2,200 tricks turned by a bunch of Chicagoan hookers, show nearly 50 percent of Chicago's prostitution-related arrests occurring within a small cross-section of the city, on a miniscule .3 percent of street corners (hookers need to congregate in a specific area so customers know where to look, obvs).

Levitt explained pricing strategies are similar to other businesses—“fees vary with the service provided and prostitutes maximize returns by segmenting the market,” the Economist reported. Whites generally are charged more than blacks, the study shows, but interestingly hotter prostitutes didn't get higher fees than chicks who might be encouraged to don a paper bag while doing the deed.
The study also noted that demand rose around city-wide events: During July 4th weekend, business rose 60 percent; prices rose by 30 percent.

And, for those of you who've thought about ditching that lame McDonald's uniform, sex workers in Chicago earn on average $25-30 per hour. Not sure how much of your STD meds that'll cover (sex without a condom is apparently the norm among Chicago prostitutes). Plus, you have to put up with occasional abuse: Levitt said he figures sex workers are assaulted monthly.

[Originally posted at]

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Chinese Police: Official party-poopers

Party PooperA Web site selling real-time porn was shut down by Chinese police, Reuters reported this morning.

Thirty-three people were arrested in connection with the site, which allowed viewers to pay a fee to watch strip shows and other live sexual acts. The server for the site was based in Taiwan.

A campaign by China to reduce online porn has led to 44,000 Web sites being shut down and 868 arrests in 2007. Hu Jintao, China's president, called the country's unhealthy Internet sites dangerous to society. The campaign is to continue through September, after the conclusion of the Olympics in Beijing.

[Originally posted at]

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Gone are the Gropers

lady bus

Hey, here's a novel idea: a public transportation system a lady can get into without worrying about being groped! Any woman who's been on a crowded subway train can attest to the cleverness of this new approach, as adopted in Mexico City with a women-only bus service.

The idea here, as reported by MSNBC, is to protect female passengers from "groping and verbal abuse common on the city's packed public transportation system." Mexico City's buses carry twice as many passengers as New York City's.

The dick-free buses utilize the same stops as other buses along two busy routes; the city anticipates growing the program to cover 17 routes in all by April.

[Originally posted at]

Monday, January 21, 2008

The Pink Stinger

Pink StingerHeard enough jokes about “that time of the month”? Next time you're packing your purse for a solo night on the town, remember to throw one of these puppies into the mix: The Pink Stinger, a stun gun designed to look like two tampons, will make any lecherous dude think twice about causing you bodily harm—or accusing you of playing the PMS card. And it couldn't be easier to work! In “taser mode,” two tampons with barbed probes and 12 feet of wire come flying out of the “applicators,” powered by compressed nitrogen. Fifty thousand volts of electricity later, your villain will be rendered totally useless. You can also shove the applicators themselves into your perpetrator for a pretty serious shock.

[Originally posted at]

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

News & Culture

Reviews of The Hottest State, Silk, and How to Date Men

[Click on article for larger size]


[Originally published in Playgirl, January 2008]