The Buttcheek Bandit is on the loose in Valentine, Neb., and authorities need your help.
Hell of a way to start, I know.
This creepster has been dashing around town since November, nude and covered in Vaseline, pressing himself against windows and doors of storefronts, churches and schools. There's worry some of the work is being done by a Buttcheek Bandit copycat.
"Who in their right mind would do something like that?" asked Valentine police chief Ben McBride. We can't imagine, sir. We can't imagine.
Although we'd love to get him for Playgirl's Real Man section when you find him. Pretty please?
[Originally posted at playgirl.com/blog]