Monday, March 31, 2008

One Badass Broad: Cheetah attack 'not a big deal'

cheetah attack

God it's great to be a woman sometimes—especially when you can be represented by chicks like Judy Berens, the owner of a South Florida wildlife refuge who was attacked by two cheetahs and called the mauling "not a big deal."

We're so sick of hearing about dumb stuff like purses and pining after inconsiderate men and all the other fluffy things women are expected to fill their brains with. It's about time someone got all fucked up by some strung-out cats, suffered 40 puncture wounds, was airlifted to a hospital, and in response just shrugged, took some deep breaths, and got back in the game. Ms. Berens, Playgirl salutes you!
She was conducting an exhibition with two male cheetahs when one got excited by someone bouncing a ball outside. The cheetah ran toward the ball and knocked Berens over. It then began to claw and bite her. At some point, the other cheetah joined in the attack.

She's due out of the hospital this morning, and told reporters she'd be back to work at the Panther Ridge Conservation Center, which provides homes for exotic cats, today. We seriously like this lady.

[Originally posted at]

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Disbelief Suspension: Oregon man 5 months pregnant

JuniorGet ready for a major mind-fuck, people. There are lots of ins and outs of this one.

An Oregon man is five months pregnant, according to the Advocate. Well, okay, that's admittedly not exactly true. The truth is, Thomas Beatie used to be a chick.

BeatieBeatie wrote the article for the Advocate, which targets a homosexual, bisexual and transgender crowd; in the piece, he explains his decision to have a partial sex change. That is to say, he sprung for chest reconstruction and testosterone therapy, but stopped short of throwing in a wanker. So, Beatie still has all his female reproductive parts—henceforth, the bun in the oven.

He stopped his testosterone therapy (administered by injection), and managed to get pregnant. He and his wife, Nancy (who is unable to have children), expect a girl in July.

The situation "sparks legal, political and social unknowns," Beatie wrote. Quite the understatement, wouldn't you say?

[Originally posted at]

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Never Too Old to Rock 'n' Roll

The case against two 93-year-old men involved in a prostitution ring continues in Manatee County, the Sarasota Herald-Tribune reported. (Yeah, we said 93-year-old men.)
Frank Milio, one of the elders, tried to pay $20 in November to an undercover officer on 14th Street West. Milio told the Herald-Tribune he was only flirting with the woman."I haven't had that in years," he said. "Ninety-three is kind of old.

Carlos Underhill, the other grown-ass man, will not be charged—though he admitted to stopping to chat with the "good-looking girl" who made eyes at him and turned out to be an undercover officer.

Underhill was willing to pay $30 for sex and that he promised to come back a few hours later to seal the deal, according to police. But prosecutors say there's no way to move forward with those charges, as there isn't any way to prove Underhill planned to come back.

Underhill was fined $150 for trying to pick up a prostitute in 1990. But according to him, times have change. All I was going to do was talk," he said Monday. "It wasn't for sex. I am 93, you know."

Yeah. We know.

[Originally posted at]

Friday, March 21, 2008

From the Files of Captain Obvious: Sleep apnea ‘cure’ wreaks havoc on sex lives

cpapOne look at the photograph to the right and you'll likely draw the same conclusion of snore-sufferers and their significant others the world over: Continuous Positive Airway Pressure machines (CPAP's), ain't all that hot.

MSNBC broke this mind-blowing story with vignettes about couples who found their sex lives "derailed" once this cumbersome mask, tube, and whirring machinery made their way into the bedroom. Shocking.

But, consider this:

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Potential Victory: FDA considers expanding HPV vaccination


Good news for ladies older than 26: The United States Food and Drug Administration is considering opening up the HPV vaccine to women as old as 45, the Associated Press reported.

Human papilloma virus (HPV), can cause cervical cancer and genital warts in women, but goes mostly undetected (and untestable) in men. Gardasil, made by Merck & Co., blocks four strains of HPV which account for more than 70 percent of all HPV cases resulting in cervical cancer. The preventative vaccine is administered through a series of three shots over the course of six months. Obviously, you should speak at length with your gyno before making a decision about this or any other medical treatment.

The vaccination is currently only approved for ladies falling in the 9-26 age bracket. In the meantime, it's estimated that more than 6 million Americans come down with HPV annually; and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that 20 million people in the United States have HPV right now.

Stand by—a decision of whether to make Gardasil available to older women is expected by the summer.

[Originally posted at]

Blast From the Past: More talk of Clintonian cum

mon, billYou know the phrase "beating a dead horse"?

Well, let's call this "beating a former prezzy's package": After rifling through a mere 17,481 pages of Sen. Hillary Clinton's schedule as first lady (newly released by the National Archives), ABC News broke the case of where Big Hill was while Bill got a knobber in a White House bathroom. Take a deep breath, people.
Hillary Clinton spent the night in the White House on the day her husband had oral sex with Monica Lewinsky, and may have actually been in the White House when it happened...

Oh for goodness sakes, everyone. We've got bigger fish (Spitzer! McGreevey's former three-way pal!) to fry.

[Originally posted at]

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Face-Lifts: Still not all that cool

faceliftThose of you still thinking about having knives dig into your pretty little faces so skin can be raised (supplying you with the perma-surprised expression, or "Botox brow") may be interested to know Reuters reported a dangerous drug-resistant bacterial infection has been showing up in a small number of patients who undergo face-lifts, according to doctors.

A review of 780 United States face-lift patients from 2001 to 2007 found five (0.6 percent) with infections at incision sites. Four were confirmed as MRSA (methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus)—and they all occurred in 2006.
Of the four, two patients appeared to have been exposed to the bacteria before surgery—one who had spent time with her spouse in a cardiac intensive care unit four months earlier, and another who had frequent contact with her brother-in-law, a cardiologist, the report said.As many as 1.5 percent of Americans carry the highly contagious infection and may spread it to others without developing a serious infection themselves. It was blamed for an estimated 19,000 deaths in 2005 in the United States. It has become the most common cause of all infections at surgical incision sites, and about 85 percent of cases happen in hospitals where the infection can kill the weak.


[Originally posted at]

Open Playgirl Casting Call to Eliot Spitzer

NYMag cover-spitzerDear Eliot,

It's not fair. We've been watching you; and we've seen how you've been crucified by the mass media, conservatives, and Republicans. We've stood by as your call-girl was offered $1 million by Hustler to show the world what she's already been showing the world for a whole lot less.

We think you've had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week. But we've been thinking.

Your political career is sadly over; and you owe a lot of money to a lot of people. Hell, you may land in jail before too long. So consider this letter a brief note of urgency.

How about making some loot back, by showing us what you saved for such a select few? How about strutting your sexuality, and defending your right to get down for the magazine and Couldn't you use a little rent money right about now? Seriously—get in touch with us. We're ready to make you a very attractive offer. Someone get Spitzer on the line: Playgirl needs him naked, now.

[Originally posted at]

Monday, March 17, 2008

Puppy Love

Dog showerA 25-year-old woman was arrested last December for assault in Bremerton, Wash., after fighting with her boyfriend in the shower over whether the man's dog could join them, KOMO 1000 News Radio reported.

Using Dr. Phil-speak, chicky told her beau sharing a shower with the pooch would be a "deal-breaker for their relationship;" his response? That he really, really hoped his next ladyfriend would appreciate the dog more. That was right around the time, according to police, she punched him several times in the face. In their struggle, he dislocated his shoulder. Whoops.

[Originally posted at]

Friday, March 14, 2008

If Celebs Moved to Oklahoma...

BritThis is basically the greatest.

What if Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas headed for the hills? What if the Beckhams stopped being so damn chic? What if Gwyneth Paltrow abandoned Hollywood? What if the Olson twins packed on a few pounds and rediscovered Bon-Bons?

Time to find out, eager readers!

The shot of Britney (at right — obvs) is by far the best, but they're all divine. Somewhere, a Photoshop wizard enjoys a cigar.

Check out the rest of these sweet, sweet imaginings here.

[Originally posted at]

Interview with Moi on Domestic Bliss Radio

Check it, ladies. Everything you ever wanted to know about the inner workings of Playgirl, brought to you by—what else?—Domestic Bliss Radio.

[Originally posted at]

Thursday, March 13, 2008

French Women: The new sexual predators?

French womanFrench women are becoming increasingly assertive in their sexual habits, while one in five younger French men have "no interest in sex", according to one of the most comprehensive surveys of the nation's love lives, the Telegraph reported.

Either women have more than doubled their sexual partners since the 1970s, or they've become a whole lot more honest.

"Are women just like men?" asked the ever-astute Le Nouvel Observateur, which released extracts of the Study on Sexuality in France, 600 pages of edge-of-your-seat accounts involving 12,000 in-depth interviews between 2005 and 2006 with people of all ages.

Studies suggest male and female sexual behavior has, over the years, become increasingly similar. Stats after the jump, you promiscuous females...

French women claiming to have had only one partner:
1970: 68 percent
1992: 43 percent
2006: 34 percent

A woman's average number of partners:
1970: less than 2
2008: more than 5


1970 and today: almost 13

Women older than 50 who are sexually active:
1970: 50 percent
Today: 90 percent

[Originally posted at]

How in the... ?

trannyPoor, poor Jennifer Jack; who recently discovered her ex-husband, Andrew Mireles (to whom she was married for seven years) is actually a transgendered female still in possession of all-girl parts, reported.

So that explains the strange bedroom behavior! A judge recently ruled to allow an annulment of the union in light of this recent and grossly overlooked tidbit.

Here's the best part: Jennifer found out Andrew's little secret while looking through an old yearbook that shows the ex-hubby as a chick. That's how you find out your ex-husband's a woman? Not by the fact you never actually fucked in seven years? Not that you never once saw your husband's penis?

And so, there's now a custody fight over the ex-pair's two kids: one fathered by another man before the marriage, and the other conceived by artificial insemination. Holy shit, people.

[Originally posted at]

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

More Reasons to Avoid Paper Trails

Spitzer, wifeOh, Eliot.

If New York's Gov. Eliot Spitzer doesn't resign, ravenous republicans intend to “go all-in and call for his impeachment from office,” CBS 2 reported.

The 48-year-old Democratic governor is linked to a prostitution ring that is among New York's biggest political scandals. Cash payments from several bank accounts to an account operated by the call girl ring, Emperor's Club VI, were initially traced to Spitzer, sparking the investigation. Four organizers of the agency were arrested last week.

He was tracked using court-ordered wiretaps that appear to have recorded his arranging for a prostitute named "Kristen" to meet him at the Mayflower Hotel in Washington, D.C. the day before Valentine's Day. Could it get worse?

Uh, yes. Spitzer allegedly paid for the call girl to take a train from New York to Washington, a move that opened the transaction up to federal prosecution because she crossed state lines. The governor hasn't been charged with any crime, but experts say his legal problems may have less to do with prostitution and more to do with his attempt to conceal the purpose and source of the cash payments.

"I have acted in a way that violates my obligations to my family and violates my, or any, sense of right and wrong," he said in a brief and useless statement. "I have disappointed and failed to live up to the standard I expected of myself. "I must now dedicate some time to regain the trust of my family," he said alongside his wife, Silda Wall Spitzer. Why do the wives always have to stand by as their d-bag husbands scramble to save face? Ah, the insanity.

[Originally posted at]

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Forever Fierce

[Note: This post was written by Jessanne Collins for]

nicchrs.jpgWhat's bright and yellow and fierce all over? It's Playgirl Editor-in-Chief Nicole Caldwell schmoozing with "Project Runway" stars (aka Playgirl's new BFFs) Victorya and Christian last Saturday night. This picture here popped up on Fashionista; sure the shiny shirt is eye-catching, but honestly, aren't you a little more enamored of the amazing Forever 21 mini-dress action?

The Playgirls were in the house, quite literally, for a photo show by Brad Walsh, nightlife photographer and Christian's special friend. We donated a bunch of issues for the goody bags, then drank our weight in energy vodka and cranberry and networked 'til dawn. (Watch for some couture coming to a couple set near you.)

Friday, March 7, 2008

She's the Bomb

BombSAN ANTONIO - A woman who called in a bomb threat to an airport in an attempt to break up with her boyfriend was sentenced to two years in prison, MSNBC reported.

Psycho April Wormly, 36, of Hobbs, N.M., was additionally fined $19,761 for the threats, placed through a series of phone calls to San Antonio International Airport regarding a fantasy bomb Wormly claimed was on on a Southwest Airlines flight bound for Dallas. Five of the 36 phone calls were recorded.

Wormly told peeps investigating that her plot was as follows: Her boyfriend, who was on the flight she called in to falsely report bomb threats about, would break up with her as soon as he discovered Wormly had made the calls. There was no other way to secure a break-up!
Uh, wow.

[Originally posted at]

Prepare for Glory Art Opening

My cameo appearance in the New York City arts scene.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

County Web Site a Mecca for Sex Predator

jailSome nut job in Ohio has used court records as a way to find victims for sex crimes, reported. Jason Lee, a registered sex offender, is accused of looking up women on the Clerk of Court's Web site and posting bail in return for sexual favors.

Lee is now in jail—but for unrelated charges.

He posted bond for two different women whom he had never met before. His little sexual-favors ring was stopped by a judge, who became suspicious about Lee's philanthropy. Turns out one of the gals he bailed out was a 20-year-old put away on drug and prostitution charges. She claims Allen forced her to screw his friend.

Seems listing public records on the county site can turn that site into a useful search-engine tool for the sex trade. Who knew.

"When you put together that he's a sexual predator, cruising the Internet, posting bond for strangers, it starts to sound like a ring to me and it also sounds like there could be a sex slave trade going on right here through the internet."

[Originally posted at]

Conservative Pastor Rants About PMS, Hurricanes

John McCain's handling of Bill Cunningham last week (the d-bag who bashed Obama and Hill with classic hate-mongering rhetoric) might suggest he's a man of principle. Or, it might just mean he defies folks until their support is sorely needed to attract a conservative base.

John Hagee, a pastor in San Antonio, Tex., with an alleged worldwide ministry via broadcast radio, "has a portfolio of bigoted statements that would make Jerry Falwell blush," reported. The gems after the jump:

"I believe that New Orleans had a level of sin that was offensive to God and they were recipients of the judgment of God for that."

"Do you know the difference between a woman with PMS and a snarling Doberman pinscher? The answer is lipstick. Do you know the difference between a terrorist and a woman with PMS? You can negotiate with a terrorist."


[Originally posted at]

Monday, March 3, 2008

Study Finds Cell Phone Use May Lower Sperm Count

spermPreliminary research suggests men who talk on cell phones four hours a day or more have significantly lower sperm counts than those who do not, Reuters reported.

"In a study of 361 men seen at their infertility clinic, researchers at the Cleveland Clinic found an association between the patients’ cell phone use and their sperm quality." Basically, the longer a dude talks on his cell phone, the lower his sperm count is—and the higher the percentage of abnormal sperm.

Findings were published in the journal Fertility and Sterility.

Lead research Dr. Ashok Agarwal had this to say: “Our results show a strong association of cell phone use with decreased semen quality. However, they do not prove a cause-and-effect relationship.” Whatever.

[Originally posted at]

Saturday, March 1, 2008

News & Culture

Reviews of Sicko, Tender Forever
[Click on article for larger viewing size]


[Originally published in Playgirl, March 2008]