Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Sexbama For Prez: Vote with your head, not your hormones

NICOLE CALDWELL, Former editor-in-chief of Playgirl, ponders the size of Obama’s penis, the power of the Presidential paunch and whether all the fetishization will hurt the Barack Star on election day.
By Nicole Caldwell
You know you’ve reached celebrity status when your name replaces God’s in the sack—and you’re not even the one getting laid. “Mike,” a 52-year-old moderate Republican in financial services, recently picked up a hot blond twenty-something at Townhouse Bar on East 58th Street in Manhattan.“He was very excited about Obama,” Mike recalls, “very into the campaign. I didn’t want to talk politics, but as he rambled on and got more and more excited, I expressed a few reservations about the anointed one. He dismissed them outright.”
Mike bit his tongue, worried that admitting his intention to vote McCain Nov. 4 would end the encounter.The two eventually wandered to Mike’s place on the Upper East Side for more drinks. One thing led to another, and soon the pair was naked. That’s when, Mike says, things got weird.The young Democrat was a bottom; and as Mike mounted him, the younger man grew animated. “Ohhhh, ohhhhh,” Mike says the man cried. “Obaaaama!”Although Mike is white, it seems that the young blond had his own fantasies about who was fucking him.

Let’s face it: Barack Obama is hot. As we move into the final days until the election, it’s become more apparent, however, that people are not making rational decisions based on voting records or even debating skills. They are voting with their emotions, their passions, even their fantasies about who they would rather kiss, fondle or fuck.
Bammers has single-handedly inspired the kind of adoration usually reserved for cultural icons like The Beatles, Elvis or Tom Cruise (circa Risky Business). That’s right, he’s a Barack star. Women weep at his rallies. Photos of him frolicking shirtless on a beach get splayed across pages of People. The media can’t get enough of him. He’s America’s sweetheart. Even Barbara Walters, during Obama’s guest appearance last March on The View, couldn’t resist a little flirtation. “We thought you were very sexy,” she told Obama, when he said his distant cousin Brad Pitt got all the hot genes. Oh, please.
[Read the rest of this post here]
[Originally published in New York Press, Oct. 29, 2008]

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Thrillist and Showtime Party Coverage

Burning Down The House With Thrillist and Showtime

Thrillist-Showtime House Party, 23 Gramercy Park South, New York
October 13, 2008

by Kelly Samardak

Thrillist is so manly isn't it? All that metro guidance, revealings of the underbelly of your favorite city, the sick flights (you know... sick as in sweet) to Vegas with questionable press, and the latest takeover of a gorgeous mansion. Named the Showtime Mansion (just this once?), the spot on Gramercy where Tiffany Winbush joked that she'd be placing an offer, delivered room after cleverly decorated room -- all elegantly carrying the theme of hit Showtime time-suckers. Did people partake in illegal tobacco puffing in the "Weeds" room? Did randy wannabe socialites try to make a naked name for themselves on the beach-themed patio? Was anyone dismembered and shoved into the "Dexter" kitchen? I gblahuess you'll have to read on to find out...

Upon arrival, I was immediately introduced to John Wiseman, Thrillist Director of Marketing, Paul Magyar, Thrillist East Coast Sales Manager, and the edibily cute Ben Lerer, Thrillist Founder. I'm sure that, as accomplished as he is, Ben loves being called cute. Onto the rooms! My +1 grabbed the cleaver from the Dexter kitchen and grinned while stroking the blade. I gasped "That's not really sharp, is it?" "Sharp enough," he sneered, hacking off my hand just below the wrist, making it difficult to sip and shoot at the same time. Bleeding profusely, I wandered from the Dexter kitchen and up the stairs into the "L Word" boudoir, which begged me to question my sexual orientation. I kept walking in and out of the "Weeds"-themed room forgetting I had been there as soon as I left. Which made me hungry. Good thing we ran into the sushi gal outside the "Weeds" room -- perfect location. Ack! Vegetarian sushi! Boo! I plucked up a roll and ate it anyway. Uh oh, our drinks were already low, so we headed all the way upstairs where another bar was situated.

On the way there, I ran into a photophobe from NY1 and her guest Stephanie, who was "just along for the ride". NY1 went straight for Justin Fluck, formerly of The Onion, currently taking a run at Thrillist. It was only his seventh day on the job and he was still going through introductions within Thrillist. Not a bad seventh day. My seventh day wasn't in a mansion; I think it was in the supply closet. Anyway, up at the bar I ran into the adorable Tiffany Winbush, who was waiting for her very stylish hubby (can't go wrong with a tie tucked into a sweater, kids!). She'd told him to arrive early with her to avoid the line and he opted out, which means he opted into the line.

Joe Ciarallo completed the Twitter/PRNewser reunion with Nicole Caldwell, who just left her position as Editor In Chief at Playgirl. Turns out that due to Playgirl's decision to ditch the print and hit the Web 100%, their site will be more of a ... uh... video download extravaganza. And I think you know what I mean. This didn't really align with Nicole's love and respect for journalism, so she cut the cord and is heading down a new path pursuing other editing and writing opportunities.

Of course I ran into the always silly, always fauxhawk-coiffed Adam Francisco of MediaVest, who recently met my favorite childhood star, Zack Morris... er, Mark-Paul Gosselaar. The JetVegas reunion hits kept coming with Mike Rothman, Thrillist Director of Advertising Sales, in his chocolate brown velvety jacket, making like a non-VIP and waiting in line with Brian Kantor, Associate Publisher, BlackBook Guides. Out on the patio I re-ran into David Blend, Executive Editor who was nyucking it up with Dean "Sawyer" Chandler, Sales Director, Gawker Media. "We've been together forever!" Dean offered, with David remembering a fabulous past photo of the two of them. Apparently in it Dean's shirt is completely unbuttoned and David has an enormous 'fro. Please, someone, dig that up. Keeping the seat warm behind David and Dean was Gwen Barbee of Vanguard S&P with her pal Gary in the green suit. Or olive. Sparring for best-hued jacket was Richard Blakely sporting one in salmon, who was jawing with Eric Krangel of the Alley Insider.

I popped a steaming dumpling into my mouth as I moved along the top floor, aiming to hit the stairs and out the door for meat. Oh yes, that dumpling was so hot I almost spit it out. I looked up and saw Joe Ciarallo had the same reaction, eyes watering as the roof of his mouth began to dangle onto his tongue. One of my last photo stops found Jonathan Faulhaber, Producer, The View, manning what looked like an uncomfortable seat -- but somehow he made it look comfortable with his Dapper Dan-layered look. He was with Caroline Bubnis, Publicist, The Door and Nicole Pierce, Beauty Expert,

I left too soon, in search of oval-shaped meat because according to my sources still peppered about the party, the green stuff made an appearance on the patio as did the, well, naked stuff. Seriously people, keep your clothes on. You do NOT want to be famous for public attempts at baby-making.

Invite to your shack party and get covered in Just An Online Minute!

Check out the bloodbath on Flickr!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

PRNewser First-Birthday Party Coverage

Just An Online Minute… Good, Good, Good, Good Libations with PRNewser

Posted October 13th, 2008 by Kelly Samardak

PRNewser's First Birthday Party, Libation, New York
October 9, 2008

Getcha PRNewser Heahhh, says Joe Ciarallo. Not really, but put that guy in a newsie hat and some knickers and we've got ourselves a winner. Joe's not just one Editor of the now year old Newser, he's also Mr. NiceGuy, so it's safe to say that you won't find a negative word in any of my posts about anything he's attached to. Call me biased and I'll call you correct. It's easy to write nice things about good people. However, my camera did get me into a near altercation with a non-PRNewser guest. Trouble follows me, people, like that clubfoot squirrel in Madison Square Park.